Because I'm a workaholic writer. My brain never ever ever rests. The minute I finish one book, I'm diving into the next one. I just booked my blog tour for Book 8 and my mind is already set on writing so I can meet the deadline for book 9--which is J.J. McCall Book 4.
One thing I've come to learn about writing over the years is this: The reason I'm able to spend an 11 hour day editing and then sit down with my carpal tunnelly wrists and write a semi-cohesive blog about the previous 11 hours is because writing is so much of a passion for me. I mean, I can work all day and it doesn't feel like it when I'm plugging through. Time disappears. I don't feel the effects of the day until it's over and the adrenaline wears off (I am, after all, over 40). But I mean, I truly love writing.
It took me almost 40 years to figure our my passion for this writing thing even though I'd done it for most of my life--even as an Intelligence Analyst. I mean, I've kept journals since I was 7 or 8. The best thing my mother did was buy me my first diary. I wrote my first word and never stopped writing. I write more now than in any other time of my life. And as I reflected on the joy I felt in doing this thing, I kept asking myself over and over again -- Why in the world could I not have figured out that I was meant to be a writer sooner?
That's one of the key themes of my newest romance novel--finding your passion, directly as a result of this question to myself. And I came up with this theory about theory about how people find their passions--and why it doesn't matter which road you take as long as you get there.
Some people are born knowing exactly who they want to be. I think of someone like Michael Jackson. I mean he was practically moonwalking in the crib. He was born knowing exactly who he wanted to be and he was driven to do that until he died. Music was a part of the fabric of his life, of his being, and he never thought or considered doing another thing. For some people, it's that easy...and that hard.
Others have ZERO clue about their passions or their callings, so they kind of wander around life from thing to thing to thing to thing, trying to find that ONE thing that drives them, that brings out the best in them, that awakes their souls. To those on the outside looking in, they seem flighty or unfocused, but in truth I believe the lack of focus is a sign of hopefulness. They try and try and try but just can't figure out the passion--yet and still they haven't given up.
Then there are people like me. They know EXACTLY what they are supposed to be, what they are called to do, where their true passion lies. And they've known it from a young age. But they talk themselves out of it. Tell themselves that the dream is impossible. They don't have training, the education, the looks, the knowledge, the energy, the will, whatever. So, they flit around from thing to thing succeeding or failing miserably. You can succeed miserably if you're succeeding in something you have no true passion for. And you're driven by this debilitating misery and constantly hitting ceilings and brick walls and road bumps dead ends, all of which I believe, are designed to guide you to the thing you truly love. It's the most painful process of elimination EVER. And the journey feels unnecessary, but I believe, in many cases, it is very much necessary.
I would not have the LIFE EXPERIENCE to pull off the romance books I've written or this J.J. McCall series if I had not taken the significant detour from writing so early in my life. I'd probably still be a good writer--but then what the hell would I write about? Nothing quite as interesting as the subjects of my books today--that's for certain!
Bottom line is no matter which route that you take to get to your passion, your calling, the thing you were meant to do above any other, enjoy the journey and use it as fuel to help propel you forward in whatever stage you find it.
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